As a walk-on athlete, I had something to prove. After all, making the Sam Houston State University softball team was a long shot. I knew in order to get the coaches’ attention I had to be outstanding, not average. I questioned a former coach of mine about how I should prepare. He asked, “What’s the first thing you will do at the tryouts?” so I related what I saw on the tryout flyer. We would run a timed mile then do fielding and hitting. Since first impressions are HUGE, he said the mile run needed to be the first place I got the coaches attention. At the time, my average mile time was 7:15-7:30. I felt pretty confident because on all my previous softball teams I was one of the fastest runners, on and off the bases. Always pushing me out of my comfort zone, Coach told me to shoot for a time below seven minutes, and to practice fielding and hitting everyday. With only a month to prepare, I asked him if he’d help me stay on target. Of course he said yes, but it wasn’t until later that I realized what I was really asking.
He immediately offered me a workout schedule to follow. Next, he told me to come up with positive thoughts about my performance and recite them to myself while I ran or practiced. Last, he told me he would keep in touch to see how things were going. With enthusiasm I kicked it into high gear. I stuck to the plan exactly as prescribed for the first week. Then, piles of “to do’s” in my college classes deterred me a day or two here and there. Ring, ring! Coach called. “How’s it going Bonnie?” I happily reported my first couple of week’s progress but admitted I had slacked the last couple of days for school. “Those are important reasons to slack,” he said. “But don’t be disappointed when you don’t make the team.” “Excuse me?” I thought to myself. “So I am supposed to just not study for a test so I can work out & practice everyday? A couple of days is not going to change much.” I wasn’t sure what to say back, and he could tell. Then he said something that has stayed with me for 27 years. “If you don’t make the team it will only be because you didn’t want it bad enough.”
The day I tried out, I impressed the coaches (and myself) with a 6:30 mile, finishing 300 yards ahead of everyone. The positive thoughts lingered in my mind during the tryout: “When I am at the plate I am relaxed and in complete control. When I get on base I make things happen. I am a great outfielder, I have the speed and the instinct to make amazing plays in the gaps.” My tryout performance running, hitting and fielding earned me a spot on the team. It was one of the most fun times of my life! I will always remember my teammates, the coaches and lessons learned.
Even though it may have seemed harsh at the time, Coach’s statement “If you don’t make the team it will only be because you didn’t want it bad enough,” was true, and exactly what I needed to hear. Why? Because my actions did not match my words. It was incongruent to tell Coach I wanted to walk on and make the college softball team, but not stick to a schedule where that priority reigned. I had all the potential and tools, but at times I let excuses and rationalization derail my progress.
Do you have something you want to achieve?
Answer this: What do you really want and how bad do you really want it? Now apply Coach’s statement to your current desire:
“If you don’t ___(insert your desire or goal here)_____ it will only be because you didn’t want it bad enough.” There are three things you’ll need to do so that your actions are congruent with what you say you want:
Seek Out Coaching or Training
You’ve tried it on your own. You’ve done well, but you want more. Yes, you need a coach. Coaches inspire, preach and push people. A coach’s role is to help you be your best, not tell you what you want to hear, or accept subpar performance or excuses. They have the tough job of telling people like it is. And people have the choice to listen with their pride in their pocket and then follow the workout or to question, deflect or give up all together. When you invest time and money in coaching, you are investing in yourself. Coaching provides a steady reminder of your choices, progress, and development. By having some “skin in the game,” you’ll be more motivated to deliver change and maximize your time in doing so.
Apply the Coaching with Fidelity — No Excuses
After you state your goals, coaches are there to push you out of your comfort zone. They see things you don’t, or things you do see, but won’t admit or acknowledge. If you are not doing what you said you’d do, or your actions do not match your stated desires, you should expect your coach to respectfully call you out. If your coach doesn’t do that, then you may want to look elsewhere for coaching.
Use Daily Affirmations
“For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he.” This quote from the Bible book of Proverbs is one of my favorites. In today’s world, the positive thoughts Coach told me to recite in my head are often called affirmations. Affirmations will help you to challenge and overcome self-sabotaging and negative thoughts. When you repeat affirmations often, and believe them, the result will be positive change that will last. Even if you don’t believe them at first, as you say them repeatedly, you WILL eventually believe them!
As a walk on athlete, I had something to prove. I wanted to play softball at the next level, and with dedication, determination and a willingness to seek out an accountability partner to push me I did it. If you want to do something BIG, something extraordinary, begin today. Apply the three strategies as you pursue your dream and make it happen!