Working or doing school from home is great… until the dog chews one of the computer cords or one of your kids needs your help with math at the same time you have a Zoom meeting scheduled with a client. During the unprecedented CoVid19 school closures that created a virtual school setting overnight, life at home became a balancing act for both kids and parents. I have experienced this first hand. Last April I was in the middle of a Zoom call with a client and my teenage boys’ voices escalated to a shouting match. The sounds penetrated my office walls, and pierced through the white noise machine. I forced a smile through my gritted teeth as I muted my speaker so my client could not hear them. Throughout this time there have definitely been some tense moments in my house as we have established expectations for behavior and respecting each other’s space.
I have talked to people carrying mounds of guilt when asking family members for “Do Not Disturb” time to work at home. The kids need help with technology for school or they get stuck and need help on an assignment or they just wonder when lunch is, so parents stop their work flow and attend to the child’s needs. The resulting break kills productivity, resulting in subpar performance and a backlog of “to-do-list” items. I understand the quandary… you need to work but your kids need you. We wonder, “Does it make me a bad parent if I don’t immediately tend to their needs?”
What if you reframe the circumstance? Instead of asking yourself the “bad parent” question, choose to look at your “Do Not Disturb” time as a way to teach children self-sufficiency, problem solving and patience. Indeed it can be exactly that! For the most success establishing this “Do Not Disturb” time, create a menu of options kids can choose from when problems or questions arise and then let them know what times you are available to help them.
Let them know that during designated “Do Not Disturb” times they must exhaust all of their own resources, use the menu of ideas or wait until you become available. Items on the menu may include: ask a sibling, friend, or teacher, write down the question for when there is someone to help, research their question on the Internet (if appropriate). You could also include some options to do while waiting. Read a book, practice math, do art, or something else that the child chooses and that you approve of. Create this list with your children and you’ll be amazed at their ingenuity and ability to come up with creative ways to solve their own problems or interesting ways to pass the time if they need to wait for you to help.
By establishing “Do Not Disturb” expectations, you are setting an example for what it takes to be productive while simultaneously teaching your child self-sufficiency, problem solving and patience.
You can even make a sign to put on your door or order one of these clever lights to help remind your kids (or spouse) when you are in your zone:
Along with setting specific time aside for your most productive work, there are five additional ways to be your most productive self, while remaining a resource and effective guide for your kids:
#1 Get started EARLY!
It can be tempting to sleep in but schedule your wake-up time and stick to it. If you are getting your kids up at 8 am, wake up two (or more) hours earlier to get some quiet work time done before their day starts.
#2 Pretend you are going to work or going out in public
When you work from home, keep your morning breakfast routine, wear nice clothes, and get yourself ready as if you were leaving the house for work. Resist the temptation to stay in your PJs.
#3 Create a dedicated work space
Choose a work space that you do not associate with relaxation. Avoid your room, the couch, or your lazy boy recliner. The space should have a hard surface to work on, a comfortable chair and be close to electrical outlets.
#4 Log out of all social media and remove social media form your browser shortcuts so that you do not get notifications
Social media is a temptation for taking breaks or getting off track. You might want to use an incognito browser in Chrome that will allow you to stay signed out of all your accounts and will prevent autocomplete to finish words you type in the search bar. Designate specific times to check social media and only interact with it during those times. NO exceptions.
#5 Plan what you will work on ahead of time
Use a physical or digital planner system to set your weekly schedule which includes everything that you need to do. At the end of each day, look ahead to remind yourself of what is coming. Commit to it, but don’t be so rigid that you don’t let your schedule change if it needs to.
Once you establish the “Do Not Disturb” system, stick with it! Make sure your kids know that you are serious about your productivity by not allowing them to distract you during your designated time (unless it is a TRUE emergency). I’ve even established penalties for kids who disturb me when it isn’t an emergency! (Extra clean toilets anyone?) They will soon learn to respect your work time and gain those important self-sufficiency skills.